After the Prom
by SoMuchLoveInALovelessWorld
Summary: Penny ponders over her life after that crucial night. One-shot.


**Author's Note : This short one-shot contains SPOILERS from "The Prom Equivalency". **

_Disclaimer: I do not own The Big Bang Theory or any character associated with it, no copyright infringement is intended._

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><p>"So... How was your night?" Penny asks mischievously as she enters the laundry room.<p>

Sheldon lets out a small huff, interrupting his meticulous work on his clothes, "You know how my night went, Penny. You were there."

"I was, but what I'm asking is what happened after… after the prom."

He finally turns to her, his face annoyed, "I went to my room and reached a peacefully sleep."

She gets on top of the washing machine, observing him as he fold his shirts. Clueless man. She decides to change her approach, "You know, Amy was very happy about your words…" she says affably, "It was a big step for you two."

He pauses, taking a moment to collect his thoughts and ventures, "It was for you? I mean, for you and Leonard?"

"S-sure…" she stammers, not knowing if she's lying or not, "It's great to hear this kind of thing when you are in a relationship."

"Were you happy when Leonard said it to you?"

"Yes."

They stay quiet for a while, unquiet contemplations running through her head, until she remarks, "It's even more special hear it from a guy like you."

He drops a pair of socks on the table and stands in front of her, "Excuse me?"

She licks her lips nervously, a little scared with his reaction, "You've always been a very introspective person. When you say 'I love you' to your girlfriend, it's something really big, you know?" He gives her a small smile and she continues, "You may be an alien, but you have urges."

"I do…" he chuckles, then his face gets serious again, "I'm in love with her, Penny."

Her throat goes dry, and for a moment, she feels a stab right into her heart. Confused with her own response to his latest statement, she rises to her feet and gives him a poor excuse, going straight to her apartment. Once inside, she sits on her couch, calming down her breaths. What's wrong with her? Sheldon said he loves Amy; she should be happy for them. After years of mild indifference, emotional detachment and occasional harsh words, her friend Amy finally is satisfied. But why she is craving for that bottle of Sauvignon Blanc on her counter? Slowly, she opens the wine, filling her glass to the brim and drinks it in one big gulp. Maybe she is upset because she has always dreamed of hearing those words from a man she would be crazy about. Yes, Leonard is a good, no, a great partner, but she feels something is missing. With a sigh, she wonders if she's being a real bitch: her fiancé bought her a car, worships her, wants to make a family with her. "I need more…" she mutters to herself.

Last night, at the prom, Leonard told her he had sent some bikini shots of her to some friends. She laughed, but deep inside of her, she was pissed off. What kind of boyfriend does that?

Sheldon would never do that.

A couple of years ago, he made her took a picture with the day's paper, as a proof he was dating a hot chick. They were going to some convention and he had to show to his nerd fellas his woman was real.

Sheldon would never do that.

Oh my God, she is jealous of the Shamy! This time, she drinks the wine from the bottle, not caring if she gets drunk again. Again. Besides her jokes about their lack of sexual activities, she has always found their connection endearing, cute. Of course he loves her: Why did he write a Relationship Agreement? Why they go out on dates? Why he… he kisses her now?

She rubs her eyes, unsettled with the rush of emotions in her head. Amy is a lucky girl, that little vixen. One day, perhaps not too far away, they'll have sex, intercourse, coitus, whatever Sheldon may call. And it will be f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c. She snorts, pacing her living room like a crazy woman, emptying the bottle and dropping it on the coffee table.

Two hours later, she doesn't have to pretend decorum, dancing in only her bra and panties, Absolut Hibiskus in hand, singing along to Amy Winehouse at the top of her lungs: **_"I died a hundred times, you go back to her and I go back to..."_ **she leans herself against the wall, her voice merely a murmur, **_"I go back to us… I love you much…"_** Lowering herself onto the floor, she isn't sure to whom she is singing anymore. Kurt? Leonard? All the men who let her down? Shel…

"NO!" she stands up abruptly, not allowing her intoxicated brain to finish his name. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with her? She sits on the couch again, grabbing her phone. Before she comprehends what she's doing, her fingers text: _"Have a great night, lovebird."_ Send.

Fifteen seconds, thirty seconds, one minute later: _"Lovebird? I always thought I was more like a cuckoo bird."_

Despite her early cynicism, she grins like a fool. _"Yeah, you're a cuckoo. LOL"_

_"I must say I miss our pre-sleep messages. You used to send me dirty jokes or some Internet banality."_

_"Well, I should do that again."_

_"Yes, you should. But now I must interrupt this conversation; Amy is calling me. Good night, Black Canary."_

She groans, throwing her phone away. Her. She is calling him. Maybe they're both exchanging 'I love yous' right now. With a mix of incredulity and despair, she realizes she isn't jealous of Shamy; she is jealous of Amy. Who would ever think of that?! Amy holds their hands while walking. Amy is his first contact in case of emergency. Amy is his girlfriend. Amy… kisses him. On the mouth. What she wouldn't give to kiss those soft, supple lips, and maybe bite them a little, just to make him moan. Okay, Penny it's time to stop drinking for the night.

With unsteady steps, she stares at the fridge, observing the photos stuck to the door. One of them is from the day they went to Disneyland. He looked so adorable with his Mickey Mouse ears; his chin resting on top of her head. Foggy memories of that afternoon come back to her:

_She was sitting on a bench, watching some kids play with colorful balloons. Sheldon placed himself beside her, licking his vanilla ice cream. "Do you want to go home?"_

_He was having a great time, so she answered, "No, sweetie. We didn't go to Mickey's Toontown yet."_

_"Are you still upset about your breakup with Leonard?"_

_"Sure. Breakups are though…" she grins at him, "Someday you'll understand."_

_He let out his throaty laugh, "Oh no, Penny – science is my mistress, I don't have to worry about that."_

_She almost spat her soda, cackling, "It's hot when you talk dirty."_

_He frowned, apparently confused with her sarcasm. They stayed quiet for minutes, until he put his hand on top of hers, and assured her, "You won't be alone for long, Penny. I'm certain you'll find the right guy for you. And you'll be happy again."_

_She was astonished with his optimism and squeezed his thumb, "Really? What makes you think that?"_

_His cheeks reddened, "You're a funny, caring, cheerful friend. Besides, you have a classical, alluring beauty; you're a very attractive woman, based on society's standards."_

_A pink flush covered her face. She was flattered by his compliments, even if they were based on pure social observation, but this was Sheldon, for God's sake! Before she could reply, he almost jumped, "Hey, there's Donald Duck!"_

_As they chased the "duck", she couldn't help but wonder if she had chosen the wrong neighbor. _

She traces the old photo with her fingertips, noticing how content and peaceful they both look. She misses that Sheldon, she misses that Penny, she misses everything.

"It should be me..." she whispers.


End file.
